Is this My Blog?

well i forgot i had a blog and just have not had anything to come on cos i dont have net at my house.. well.. as always alot has happen to me this many months that i have not came on. now as i do this someone is in my house sleeping .. i can see her face i sit down with her. And most of all i can do whatever i want to her now.. but ! i will never cos that is just the person i am. last night went to jeans to club.. well it was fun to dance with the guys but missed dancing with a lady.. sighz.. and today i have my past rite in my face.. sometimes i think what are you doing to me my Dear Loard.. i ask and yes you give but .. no what do you want me to do with this.. !!!

Peace out

Forgot..

well i did not forget that i have a blog but just have not been not for a long time .. well where should i start? hmmmz.. how about form that i have not been having much rest this past few days coming to weeks soon.. sines my X got this job a a club i have not been sleeping well been worrying about her.. been thinking how has she been miss seeing her face.. ok here's the shit part.. others girls seem to like me but i cant like them cos to me it does not feel rite to do anything with any other girl.. cos that is not where my heart is.. it is still with her.. there was 1 girl.. but well.. she went away with a part of me .. but none the less.. i stlll want her back in my life.. even if i know that she does not want anything to do with me cos that is how she shows it.. i wanted to find people to go clubing that the place where she works so that i could see her.. but now i think about it .. i dont want to anymore.. it feels very hard to go on with my day to day life like this... back to where i started from..

Peace out.. need a good night for sleep..

looking out for each other?

i dont know how to blog about all this shit today..
dont feel like blogging today..

Low bat !

Last night went out with my Friends one of them had his dads car to went down to town see a movie "Bed time story" Which was funny paid like $8 for it so not to bad. than .. wait o ya i forgot to say this .. it was like 5 guys and out of the 5, 4 of them have Girl friends guess what i was the only one that did not have one la nvm.. out of the 4, 3 of there girl friends came to see the movie with as.. so i had to go gay for the day la.. sigh.. so after the movie went to play pool than went to eat at little India than got a phone call from a fren asking us to come cos to down town east cos it's his bday so went done there wish him you know show face than he gave me something to drink that had 2 beers OM i must say this Do NOT drink when your sad ! it will hit you like a rock.. your mind is so low and u feed it shit .. i was feeling the blues cos i missed my X who seems to have moved on without me..

so was missing her to it did not help luckly thing had my frens there.. but all in all i can see that i am longing for someone to love to give my love to and i dont seem to let go of my past that ez as others do . i cant say o ok break up ok lor can find other girls.. sorry i am not like that..

i have done shit in my life but you dont brank a girls heart. but they seem to break mine... lol

ok i have a youth meeting today told them i would go for it so ya.. i dont feel like it now la.. but ya..

till later than.. i miss you gold fish..

Peace out

ok i am done for

I will say this now ok fine the links which where posted to me did help .. So cut me up and feed me to the fishs.. ok this is the only place where i can as emo as i want to be. And no one can say anything about it!! nothing much to say today BUT that i am sad that i need to get to see Gold fish or princess.. Look like no one misss me..


Peace out

Good bye 2008

1 year has past. What do i have to show for this year .. Guess what NOTHING..
it's new year eve and i am at home doing nothing .. why after all that has happen i still want to spend today with the two girls who killed me..
yet i want to spend it with them. Y? .. cos i am still a sucker for them. it's 7 :40 pm 31/12/08

What the hell am i doing at home!! why am i not out having fun and getting to know new people in my life have enjoying myself..Y! sighz.
No one has the ans for me i look for them but cant find them..

i want to go out do something.. no i want to see My princess and my gold fish. but i know i cant. cos life's a bitch.

going to sit at my com and wish my com happy new year, what a way to end this bad year..

Good bye 2008 may 2009 be batter than YOU!

AS this year pass's i say good buy to my feeling that have given me so much pain.

So Fast??

Wow.. Wow.. hahaha..i am back here.. hahaha..back to this place where i said i would not go at all.. lolz.. The past just killed me and i said that i would not come back here come back to where i am now! .. as a tear comes down my eye i smile to myself thinking ' suresh F*** your back to this same place where the Girl has moved on SO FAST! and your feeling the shit of the after math ' and your like how is she is she ok and here it comes F*** YOU she does not give a F*** . your alone here just when you were like maybe she feels the pain too and here it comes NO she does not.. maybe it's just the mood now talking .. but wow.. so fast as alwasys i am left back here thinking what a sucker i am to think that anyone would give a shit.. F*** you suresh.. for letting yourself feel this way.

lol.. where is my Drink.. i need it.. F*** 2008 what i shit year..

F*** all this shit fine i am Emo fine you know why this is the only place where i can let it out .. i am sick of trying to smile .. Sick of all this shit in my life..

o peace where have thy gone? Why has thu left me? what have i done to make your face trun away from me? Tell me What must i dont to Make you smile? What must i do to smile and be happy. To feel happy to be alive to see the things that i have seen to feel the things that i have felt to meet the people that i have loved and lost. Why me Why now? Come back to me and give me back my peace that you have so taken away from me. Just as the day looks for the night and the night the looks for the day i can never seem to find you the one the would give me back my Smile.. i have lost it.. But now it seem that no one wants it anymore..no one not even you that one that gave it to me..

Pain..