So much for waiting

Well alot has happen this past few days.. i have seen so many things run by me. GOD is good in all that he does. But sometimes we just cant see it no matter how hard we try. I sometimes just cant seem to see it. Went down to her friendster saw lots of things i dont think i should have.. she's become more and more beautiful as each day goes by.. Been going clubbing alot with many guys.. there goes the love of my life huh..i cant say anything at all.. nothing cos i mean nothing.. i am nothing to her.. When one door close's GOD alwasys open's a other.. But it's time for me TO GROW UP! and to see things as a man. no longer a teen to think like one. Miss you alot on my life you were and still are a big part i pray for you every day asking GOD to take good care of you.. My chest pain comes and goes.. sometime i just dont think i can take it anymore.. but i cant take my pills it does things to me.. i dont like it.. i hate it.. i hate the pills yet i need them.. this is the only way i can let all this in me out .. no one wants to hear all this or must i say on one needs to for this is a part of me no ones wants to know. and i may say needs to know.. i dont want to give up on me anymore.. there is something about me .. the GOD out in me .. ahh... so much pain.. so much for friends so much for finding love..


But!! on a happyer note i have seen someone who is i must say. her smile.. thinking of her smile makes me smile.. but.. she shows nothing to me .. that i may hang on to.. but.. who am i rite.. E*****.. how much i long for you.. but much i know that u just dont give a shit.. back to killing my body..that's all i have left..


Peace out